Stem Cell Research from Christian Perspective Essay

Stem Cell Research from Christian Perspective - Essay Example Stem cell research's eligibility and necessity is doubted through moral and ethical arguments, while the scientific approach tries to convince the humans that the primary goal is to make them healthier, to find the cure to cancer and many other benefits. The main reason why stem cell research causes such a controversy is because, in the stage in which the blastocyst is extracted, the embryo dies. Since it is impossible to remove the blastocyst without killing the embryo, certain religions believe that stem cell research is evil. This is because there is an uncertainty as to when life begins, and whether it begins from the time of conception, or it begins only after the fetus has begun to develop. This is where society is distinctly split, between the scientists and the religious ethicists. One of the positive aspects of stem cell research that goes in favor of the scientists is the fact that they can do a great deal to help scientific studies, especially in finding the cures for diseases. Scientists have found that, by experimenting with stem cells, they can possibly find cures for chronic and fatal diseases such as diabetes, Parkinson's, Alzheimer's, heart disease, cancer, multiple sclerosis, spinal cord injuries, and many more. By performing stem cell research, scientists will be able to help hundreds of thousands of people who are affected by diseases such as these. This can be done by taking the unspecialized stem cells and removing certain protein coats, and therefore turning it into a certain type of cell (such as a cardiac cell or brain cell). These cells can then are transplanted into the needed areas and replace the existing, non-working cells to cure the person of that illness. During the process through which a stem cell is removed from an embryo, and the embryo is sacrificed. The argument many people make about this issue is that it is morally wrong. Many Catholics feel that it is not right to kill the embryos because they are human beings. Scientists believe it is not their part to judge whether it is morally right or wrong. Their job is to make the cures and this is one way to do it. Many people think it is wrong to kill humans to help other humans. This opinion is supported by four passages from Scriptures (Benson 2004): Genesis 1:26-27 - Humans are made in God's image Deuteronomy 5:17 - We are not to unjustly take human life Psalm 139:15, 16 - God knew us as individuals in our mother's womb and even before Matthew 1:20 - Our Savior was once a single cell embryo The debate over stem cell research is closely related to the cloning issue. As Dr. David Stevens has noted, the embryonic clone would be the patient's genetic twin displaced in time. It would be a human being because it has the chromosomes of a human perfectly formed for that stage of development. At that point in time, the embryo is self-directed and, if left in the proper environment, it will continue development through gestation, birth, maturity and eventually natural death, just like all humans (Benson 2004). The question here is when does the life begin according to the Creator Christians and the representatives of other religions are confident that the stem cell research

Christianity and the Secular Point of View of Gun Violence Essay

Christianity and the Secular Point of View of Gun Violence - Essay Example A political debate has also been sparked by these mass shootings over gun violence and gun control. In this perspective, the church has adopted a secular view with regard to these shootings. Drawing on the variety of literature, the paper will discuss Christianity and the secular point of view of gun violence/school shootings. Discussion The American Secret Service defines school shootings as the deliberate selection of a school as the location of the attack. The number of mass shootings and gun violence in the U.S is as rampant as the number of people living in America. According to figures from the US Department of Justice and Council on Foreign Affairs, there have been 60,000 people affected by gun violence and mass shootings in 2015 alone. As a result of the magnitude and effects of gun violence and mass shootings, the Church has adopted a secular view to the issue. Conversations about mass shootings often devolve around emotions. In the recent times, the Christians are agitating for their right to bear and own firearms. There is still debate on the effectiveness of guns used in personal defense. A survey carried out by the U.S Department of Justice placed the rate of using guns for personal defense at 1.6 million. However, this is twice the crime rates. The Christians share the view that the Bible was authored long before the gun was invented. It, however, mentions the use weapons in battles and wars. War is portrayed as something that is part of a fallen world (Mark 13:7; James 4:1).

Damage to the Environment Due To Living Standards

Damage to the Environment Due To Living Standards Damage to environment is an inevitable consequence of worldwide improvement in the standard of living â€Å"The environment is where we all meet; where all have a mutual interest; it is the one thing that we all share.† —Lady Bird Johnson. The highly development of science and technology thing effects the living standard a lot. Nowadays people suffer from so many problems for instance air pollution, the explosive expansion of population and the deterioration of environment. The environment is formed of the land, air and water in which people, animals and plants live. A lot of changes take place in environment daily. Such environmental changes are affecting a persons life. Pollution is the most important factor that makes environment dirty by adding harmful substance to it. Pollution make imbalance in the environment and also in human beings life. It is the common problem or we can say it is the crisis situation which is suffering by all the world. The main types of pollutions are water pollution, air pollution, soil pollution and land pollution which continuously pollutes our surrounding. So here I would like to put the light on this matter that how media, public and government put their efforts for solving the environ mental issues. some people says that the damage to the environment is an inevitable consequence of economics development . To begin with, let us know what are the causes of environment. The causes are firstly over population, the growing population has resulted in over use of the natural resources like tree, land, water, air, petroleum etc. Secondly, the cutting down of more and more trees causing forest area decreasing and species are extinct. During the process of mining people cut forests on a large scale and degrade the land as well as forests. The farmers also adopting shift farming techniques due to which they cuts down the forest land. In shift farming technique, farmers cut a small piece of forest land for cultivation. They grow crops in that land for a short time(i.e. for 3 to 4 months) and then cut their crops. Then they move to another place in the forest and cut trees for another crops. this shifting up of farming is known as shift farming. Due to this reasons the whole food ecosystem of forest disturbs and leads to the extinction of species. Cutting down of trees also lead to climatic change s and emission of green house gases. Another cause which adversely affected the environment is industrial development and green revolution .Many large scale industries emit harmful gases which causes many diseases such as lung cancer, skin cancer and asthma problems To add on further, there are also other causes of pollution ie depletion of ozone layer. Due to increase in the quality of CHLORO FLOURO carbons, the ozone layer depleting. Ozone layer protect us from the ultra violet rays which are coming from the sun. This layer absorbs the UV rays and protect us. As the smoke coming out from vehicles and industries, refrigeration and air conditions and use of harmful products slowly being destroy ozone layer. The depilation of the ozone layer could result in skin diseases and also have a great effect on our eyes .However, the increase in pollution has resulted in global warming. The sudden rise in the average temperature of air and sea on earths surface is known as global warming. There are so many causes of global warming. When oil, gas, fossil fuels and coal burns, the carbon in it combines with air and which increase the temperature of air and sea on the earth surface. In developed countries, coal is used in a huge level to produce electricity .So when coal burns it produces lot of harmful gases which was absorbed in the oxygen and air .In Australia and England the greenhouse gasses mostly comes from the burning of fossil fuels and coal as both are the main source to produce electricity. It is recorded that Australia uses 77% of coal to produce electricity. Because of this reason the ice-caps in the Polar regions would melt and it would result in the rise of the water level of seas and oceans. A time will come when the whole earth submerge in water. At last, due to overgrazing, soil erosion, acid rain, landslides, volcanic eruption pollutes the environment. we know Their is no doubt that there are number of causes which are the huge problem for the environment. But now there is need of sustainable development Today in this era, with the efforts of our young generation, scientific techniques, public, media and the rules of the government playing a significant role to not eradicate but handle the problems of our environment . Out of these, media plays a vital role in the field of environmental issues .2In developed countries and urban areas, the use of print, broadcast and internet media can be a great way to increase education and awareness by working with the media, government agencies and non profit organizations can help spread their message, either by holding press briefings, issuing printed press releases, or even setting up online databases that can be used as information centres. Information centres can also help to both the public and journalists about environmental issues. Media also arrange awareness programs in rural area where people are illiterate and do not know about how to save our environment. They can also make some small movies in which they can send message to society for saving our environment, make some agendas like save water and plant more trees. They must contain some knowledge about agriculture so that they can use appropriate methods and techniques instead the use of fertili sers and pesticides which pollute not even the crops but land also. The main purpose of media is firstly, they provide the news about the problems which are facing the people in the world. Another motive is, to helps to educate the people about environmental issue by creating educational campaigns, rescue operations, programs like dramas and serial which helps the people to aware. Furthermore, 30% of the worlds population is under the age of eighteen, according to UNEO, which is why educating children and young adults about environmental problems is crucial to long-term success. This will help them foster a sense of responsibility so that when they becomes adults they will make choices that help the environment rather than harm it. Many school, however, do not currently teach their students about environmental issues. Integrating environmental education into current science classes or teaching environmental science as a separate discipline is one of the best ways to educate children and teens about environmental problems, particularly if the classes involve some sort of hands on learning, like to make small gardens and watering the plants or caring for an animal3.Public should know about the environmental issues and put some steps to clean and save our environment. Celebrities should also put their efforts and participates openly with the public to aware them. People should complained to police if someone in their locality pollutes the environment. Every person in this world have to put some efforts and performed hisher duty to solve this problem. Like a forestation should be done on large scale and people should use public vehicle instead of private vehicles. Water treatment plants should be installed in all industrial areas. Garbage should be thrown in proper place. Water which we used for washing vegetables may be used to watering the plants in the garden. Hunting should be banned for the safety of animals. Last but not the least, reduce, reuse and recycle should be our mantra Instead of it, government can also play unique identity in improving the environmental issues in every country such as there should be strict law if people pollute environment. If some pollute the environment, then fines would be charged so that they cant ever repeat the same mistake in future. Environment education should be compulsory in all the fields of educ ation. Laws for industrial units should be strictly implemented so that polluted water is not disposed off directly into rivers and lakes .So Government should also ban the use of plastic bags. In all rural areas there should be proper sewerage and purifier water treatment plants for saving the water. Wildlife sanctuaries should be established for the protection of animals and forests. By winding up the idea, it seems to me that environmental problem is the worrying concern and individuals have a primary role in joining hands with the government in saving environment. Humans are responsible for a variety of environmental problems, but we can also take steps to reduce the damage that we are causing to the planet. This essay discuss environmental problems and the measures that governments and individuals can take to cope up with these problems. Gas emissions from factories and exhaust fumes from vehicles lead to global warming, which may have a serious effects on the planet in the future. so our life is in our hands we have to think before use. References: 1.global warming(only definition)-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Global_warming 2, 3-in this i use my B.sc- 1st semester book ie environmental studies

Catalytic Converters :: essays research papers fc

Introduction Catalytic converters are an integral part of converting much of the pollution that comes out of a car’s exhaust. Almost every car since the year 1970 has come with a catalytic converter in order to reduce harmful emissions. I chose to explain the function and chemistry behind the catalytic converter because I have an interest in cars and I wanted to know more about them. Background In order to understand how catalytic converters work, one must understand that air and fuel burn in a car’s engine best at a specific ratio. The ratio for gasoline burning vehicles is approximately 14.7 pounds of air to one pound of gasoline. When there is more than 14.7 pounds of air for each pound of gas, the mixture is running lean. When the opposite occurs, meaning less that 14.7 pounds of air for each pound of gas, the mixture is rich. The exhaust from the combustion in a cars engine is comprised of six main ingredients. Nitrogen gas, carbon dioxide, and water vapor are three of the main emissions. These gases do not cause damage to the atmosphere like the other gases do. Carbon Monoxide, other hydrocarbons, and Nitrogen Oxides result in a majority of the pollution caused by cars. Carbon Monoxide is a colorless and odorless gas that can kill you if too much is inhaled. Hydrocarbons come out of an engine’s exhaust from unburned fuel. These hydrocarbons can be broken down by the sun, creating ground level ozone, also known as smog. Nitrogen oxides can cause acid rain. Catalytic converters are designed to reduce these last three emissions. How it Works Most new cars are equipped with what is called a three-way catalytic converter. They are called this because they try to cut down on the Carbon Monoxide, hydrocarbons, and Nitrogen Oxides. There are two main parts to the catalytic converter. They both function in the same way but remove different pollutants. The structure inside the catalytic converter is a honeycomb to allow for a maximum surface area for the reactions to occur while requiring minimal amounts of the catalysts required for the reactions to take place because these catalysts are expensive. Reduction Catalyst The reduction catalyst is the first step that the exhaust goes through in the catalytic converter. The catalysts used in this part are platinum and rhodium to break now NO and NO2 molecules in to N2 and O2 gases which are non-polluting.

7 up video response

Seven Up (Bruce) During the documentary, many of the fundamental concepts of development over the lifespan were displayed. Out of the â€Å"seven up† group I decided to focus on Bruce. Although the group of seven came from a very diverse socioeconomic background they are all British. I was particularly interested in how Bruce would turn out, in regards to his influences of culture, class, socioeconomic status, personal attributes, and available role models. In the Bruce's background I observed that he seemed to be a little better off than the others in the group of seven.I say this because his family sent him off to a boarding school. Boarding schools can be rather expensive relative to the institution. They are also a little stricter in disciple and learning, with a very robust discipline system. As far as socioeconomic class, I believe Bruce may have a better chance at succeeding because, according to our Human development book, â€Å"High socioeconomic status is an importa nt predictor of academic success, according to a study†¦ â€Å". One of Bruce's main sources for influence is his boarding school environment.Bruce states, â€Å"l think discipline is fair enough† which contradicts what he film says about the average 7 year not thinking too much or not understanding discipline. The film also says, â€Å"This distinction between freedom and discipline is the key to their whole future†. It's hard for me to make a creative prediction about how Bruce's racial or ethnic heritage has or will influence his future. Bruce seems to be very calm, well organized, and confident. He's a white British male living in England.Ethnically and racially he's at home with others Just like his self, so many of the customs, traditions, and language Bruce should be familiar with while growing up amongst others like imself. Bruce's gender and his influence on his sense of future prospects is another area that is hard to analyze. When Bruce speaks it's nev er for a long period of time but he always seems to reply in a short and brief but realistic answer. While some of the other seven talk about how girls â€Å"don't do what they want them to† Bruce talks about how he has a girlfriend in Africa that he might not ever see again.I would describe Bruce as a strong, calm and collective boy, he's not as fidgety as the others. Bruce seems to be very confident in what he says and wants, this may be due to his discipline. These internalizing attributes might help Bruce overcome challenges in the future such as doubt and uncertainty that could arise later in life when choices become more difficult to make. My beliefs are that Bruce has great core values because, he works well with others.In the film Bruce said that he wanted to go to Africa to help uncivilized people; this to me signals that Bruce has some type of either religious or ultraistic background which plays an important role in now Bruce see's things. Assuming that Bruce's gir lfriend from Africa was black, and the people from Africa that he want's elp are as well tells me that Bruce doesn't have a problem with diversity unlike some of the other seven. In regards to the observations I made above I truly believe that Bruce will probably go on to finish school and go to a university of some sort.At the boarding school that Bruce attends discipline is a big part of the curriculum; this leads me to think that Bruce will be good at an authoritative role. Possibly landing a Lead role as a manager, or supervisor, Just because he understood the discipline and learned from young not to have problems with authority. His knowledge of girlfriends seems to be neutral, he id say that he had more than one girlfriend, but I'm not sure if he was speaking in language that I misunderstood; meaning he had more than one friend that was a girl or he actually had a polygamous relationships.If Bruce does have his eyes on more than one girl from young, then maybe the road may lea d to divorce, but that's not to say that he is incapable of change. Lastly Bruce seems to be very content with his current state of being. He doesn't seem unhappy, but yet very certain of what he wants to accomplish; for example talking about wanting to go to Africa to help the ncivilized. In all I agree with the Jesuit proverb, â€Å"show me a child of seven, and I will give you the man†.Although it served as the inspiration of the documentary, I feel like there is a strong connection between your personalities when you're young compared to your older self. The fundamental concepts of development over the lifespan were displayed while observing Bruce and it gave me a better understanding of how Bruce would turn out; in regards to his influences of culture, class, socioeconomic status, personal attributes, and available role models

Cunegonde and Madame Essay

Our policy at SMARTHINKING is not to correct or edit student writing. Working from higher- to lower-order concerns, we offer teaching points and, on a limited basis, model potential revisions. We know that we cannot deal with every question, problem, or error in a paper, so we prioritize our time accordingly. 2. In this tutoring simulation, you should provide revision advice to the following sample student essay. This student is responding to a literary analysis assignment. Please read the â€Å"Writer Submission Form† (below) and respond to the essay in approximately 30 MINUTES. 3. Please make substantive comments about higher order concerns (e. g. , strengths, thesis, development, organization) in the tutor response form that follows the essay. Provide feedback for â€Å"Strengths of the Paper,† 3 of the 9 â€Å"Points† (areas of assistance), and â€Å"Summary of Next Steps. † 4. Please embed in the body of the student’s essay approximately five comments about some of the major higher-order and lower-order concerns (e. g. , grammar and mechanics) you noted in the essay. Please embed these comments [in bold and brackets]. 5. At the end of each simulation, please log your time for completing each tutorial. Writer Submission Form Name: Bob King Instructor: Professor Hart Department: English Course: English: 200 BRIEFLY DESCRIBE THE ASSIGNMENT Write an analytical essay (3-4 pages in length). You are to analyze the argument of any work read in Module1 and relate it to the idea of the progress of humanity. Then, restate the work’s thesis and explain how that thesis is argued and with what evidence it is supported. You must analyze the position defended in the work and offer your own judgment on it. WHAT HELP DO YOU WANT FROM YOUR OWL TUTOR? Hi – I need a lot of help with my main idea. And I need to expand my paper a lot. Basically, I want to say that women hampered men in Candide because when men fall in love it causes problems. I don’t really know if I am answering the question or not – the whole thing sort of confuses me. I don’t know if my argument is clear – please help with that. And please help me expand my paper. I need to get to 4 pages – and I don’t know how to make it longer. I think this whole assignment is really pretty stupid. And my teacher is so picky. So, I just need general help. Voltaire’s Men and Women In Candidate, a satire written by Voltaire, women hampered the progress of men. Their love for women cause men their hardships. Cunegonde and Madame de Parolignac impeded Candide and Paquette plagued Pangloss. An example of women impeding mens’ progress is seen when Candid’s yearning for Miss Cunegonde leads to a kiss between the two. The result of this kiss was Candide being kicked out of his home, thus, beginning his hardships. [It would be better if you added a signal phrase before your quotations and broke them down. However, if you want to use an entire block quotation, you should indent the entire quotation like so:] â€Å"Candide, ejected from the earthly paradise, wandered for a long time without knowing where he was going, weeping. raising his eyes to heaven, and gazing back frequently on the most beautiful of castles which contained the most beautiful of Baron’s daughter. † (Voltaire 3) Pangloss, like Candide, experienced several misfortunes because of his being sexually attracted to women, namely one women [woman, singular, don’t forget to proofread your work] Paquette. She used her charm and sex appeal to attract Pangloss. Sex with Paquette contaminated Pangloss with a societal disease which led him to become disfigured, losing an eye and the tip of his nose. â€Å"In her arms I tasted the delights of paradise, which directly caused these torments of hell, from which I am now suffering† (V-8). [I am assuming you are using MLA in-text citation, this is incorrect, either maintain the name-page format or just use the page for subsequent citations. i. e. just (8)] Candide was also attracted to other women besides Cunegonde who caused him to digress [Digress from what? You should rethink your word choices. ] One of these women was Madame de Parolignac. After Candide returned from Eldorado where he had attained wealth, he met Madaem de Parolignac and was sexually attracted to her. Madame de Parolignac on the other hand was attracted to Candide’s diamonds and she used sex to persuade them into her ownership. â€Å"the beauty who had seen two enormous diamonds on the two hands of her young friend, praised them so sincerely that from the fingers of Candide they passed over to the fingers of the marquise. † (V-53) Women have caused men to compromise their homes, money, and health as is the case with Candide and Pangloss for loving them thus causing impeding upon men’s progress, especially that of Candide and Pangloss. [This is rather redundant. You should make a short conclusion regarding the work first, restating your thesis, then expand into the larger context of â€Å"men† in general] TUTOR RESPONSE FORM Hi (writer’s name). I’ve read your paper and here are some points you might want to think about as you revise your paper. STRENGTHS OF THE PAPER: You are headed in the right direction. You have isolated your thesis; you stated that the theme in Voltaire’s work is that women impede the progress of men and make them miserable. This is a good starting point. You also have a good grasp of the content of the reference text from what I can see because you have many good examples to further your point. POINTS TO THINK ABOUT AS YOU REVISE YOUR PAPER [Tutor: Choose 3]: Main idea/Thesis – You have only answered one of the prompts in the assignment. First, you should state the main idea in the reference work and its significance to humanity; in this case, for example, the significance is that the superficial battle of the sexes hinders progress. Then, you state how this main idea was supported; this is when you bring out your excellent examples from the text. Next, you have to give your own judgment on the matter; whether you agree or disagree with what Voltaire was trying to say with his work. Although you have a solid enough thesis, it is rather one-dimensional, so this part is where you get to expand that idea and give your own input. One example is that instead of focusing on how the mere presence of the women ruined these men, you could discuss how the men allowed themselves to be so easily manipulated by the women. Another suggestion is to give a lesson one can take away from the work, something like how if men and women cease trying to manipulate each other all the time, such sexuality-based degradation of society could be avoided. Quotations -As I have noted in your draft, your quotations need a little work. You should review your formatting guidelines when it comes to in-text citation, especially subsequent citations of the same work. Furthermore, while your quotations are well chosen, it is not a very good idea to just place them in your work without much context. Not only is it unattractive, it disrupts the flow of your paper. It is best to add a signal phrase before the quotation, such as: Regarding his affliction, Pangloss said â€Å"†¦.. † The more seamlessly you can integrate your quotes (remember, it has to make sense), the better. A good idea is to paraphrase the quotes and add just the vital part into your sentence. Introduction/Conclusion -Your introduction needs to be extended. You should introduce the work you are discussing, give a little background information on it. Assume that the reader is only vaguely familiar with the work; so, in the introduction, you can give a summary of the satire. To extend this even more, you can save the summary for the second paragraph of the paper and begin the introduction with a tangential discussion of the age-old battle of the sexes such as common opinions, implications, etc. before leading to Voltaire’s work and idea. After you state your understanding of Voltaire’s piece, you should try to integrate your opinion into your thesis statement. Whichever way you decide, the thesis of your paper should be clearly recognizable in your introduction. As for your conclusion, you should briefly and clearly restate your thesis and your most significant points. You can end with a generalization of the implications of the work such as an answer to â€Å"Now that you are aware of the problem stated in the work, what can you do about it? † Summary of next steps (E-structor: let student know what he/she should consider when revising this essay. ) Your main problem is that you are having trouble extending the paper to 4 pages. However, since you have only answered one of the questions in the prompt, answering all the other questions will no doubt help you reach your goal. Remember: Voltaire’s main idea, its significance to humanity, how it was supported in the text (citations), and what you think about it (yay or nay? ) and why. Format your introduction and conclusion better; you start by easing your reader to better accept your ideas and you end by wrapping up your major points and giving your reader something to think about. Lastly, do not forget to proofread your paper, I have found some errors regarding word choice as well as the errors regarding the in-text citations. You are on the right track, you just need to explore your original ideas a little further, and form an opinion on the subject. Completion Time: Simulation B Directions 1. Our policy at SMARTHINKING is not to correct or edit student writing. Working from higher- to lower-order concerns, we offer teaching points and, on a limited basis, model potential revisions. We know that we cannot deal with every question, problem, or error in a paper, so we prioritize our time accordingly. 2. In this tutoring simulation, you should provide revision advice to the following sample student essay. This student is responding to a prompt to write about how computers affect students and teachers, based on classroom discussions and homework readings. Please read the â€Å"Writer Submission Form† (below) and respond to the essay in approximately 30 MINUTES. 3. Please make substantive comments about higher order concerns (e. g. , strengths, thesis, development, organization) in the tutor response form that follows the essay. Provide feedback for â€Å"Strengths of the Paper,† 3 of the 9 â€Å"Points† (areas of assistance), and â€Å"Summary of Next Steps. † 4. Please embed in the body of the student’s essay approximately five comments about some of the major higher-order and lower-order concerns (e. g. , grammar and mechanics) you noted in the essay. Please embed these comments [in bold and brackets]. 5. At the end of each simulation, please log your time for completing each tutorial. Writer Submission Form Name: Ana Nasif Instructor: Professor Lynn Department: English Course: ESOL 052 Due: 1 week BRIEFLY DESCRIBE THE ASSIGNMENT In the past two weeks, we have read and discussed three articles that presented very favorable views of how computers can be used in education. Now think about the readings, and about your own experiences and observations, and write an essay that suggests some ways in which the use of computers can create problems for teachers and students. Your essay must follow the plan presented in the handout â€Å"Form for an Essay. † To achieve the complexity of thought expected in ESOL 052, your body paragraphs will probably have to contain seven or eight sentences each. All essays must be typed and double-spaced. WHAT HELP DO YOU WANT FROM YOUR OWL TUTOR? Please help me be sure that my papers is written the way my teacher is asking. Do I have complex thoughts? Are my paragraphs full enough. Is my English ok? ESOL 052 PAPER 3 Ana Nasif ESOL 052 16 April, 2001 COMPUTER’S PROBLEMS IN EDUCATION Computers, wonderful invention, are creating problems now. [Please proofread your paper, most of your sentences have grammar problems. Like this first one, the main problem is that they are not complete sentences] Computers are causing problems in education because of their use in different ways: un-even use, use of computer games, use of the internet. Computers are useful and advanced technology of this century, but they are producing three main problems in the field of education. The most important problem is the gap between the educational standard of students. Another problem is that computers have diverted the mind of children and young people. The other problem is the danger of no colleges or schools in the future. In this essay I will discuss these problems, and suggest how they can be solved. [You need a stronger thesis, try to incorporate all three points into one main thesis. Such as â€Å"Despite the many advantages of computers, three main problems in the field of education can be attributed to computer use: creating an educational gap between students, diverting the minds of young people, and causing actual schools to become obsolete in the future. â€Å"] As the education by computers is not available to all students of cities and towns, so it creates a gap of achievement between students of the same country. The problem in not only at the schools, but also at the colleges and universities. Students of small colleges do not have the facility of computers [Do you mean they do not have the funding to have good computer facilities? Again, awkward word choices. ], so they face difficulties in their study. However, the students having the access of computers can get reliable information about their subjects easily. When the students appear in any competitive test or examination, the difference creates a big problem for them. Blind and visually impaired students are unable to use a computer without a special equipment. The equipment is expensive and everyone cannot afford it. It may be creating a sense of inferiority complex. Computerized video games are very popular among the children and young people now. They play these games for several hours in a week, so wasting their valuable time. Because of the intensive interest they do not pay full attention to their study. They cannot concentrate well at schools or colleges, so their ability, test scores and grades are gradually decreasing. As they became less active, so they are not physically fit as other of the same age few decades before. Some colleges are providing few courses to their students at homes on the internet now. There is a prediction of no colleges, universities and no more schools in the next century. It is the fact that the first school of child is his/her home, but the education of a school is mandatory. Computers cannot solve the basic problems of the students at schools. In school, besides the better education students also learn social ways of life: work in groups, manners of communication, participate with other fellows, and various rules and regulations. These things help them in the practical life. The teaching of students accomplished in years. I suggest that these problems can be solved with great efforts. [Word choice problem. In this context, i think you mean â€Å"effort† not efforts. Such as when when you mean schoolwork, you should use â€Å"their studies† instead of â€Å"their study†] The use of computers in education should be equal to all students. The students should be motivated toward their study and advised to play for the short time after completing their homework. I also suggest that parents should supervise their young children, who are watching program on the internet, because it provides a wide range of program on crimes and sex. In my view a school or college education is more helpful for students, as their difficulties of various subjects cannot be solved at homes. [End with a good conclusion that restates your thesis and wraps up your main points. You could add a comment on how people should consider the disadvantages as well as the advantages of excessive computer use. ] TUTOR RESPONSE FORM Hi (writer’s name). I’ve read your paper and here are some points you might want to think about as you revise your paper. STRENGTHS OF THE PAPER: You make some good points in your paper. Your three main disadvantages are valid and they do answer the prompt given by your teacher. Your basic structure is solid; introduction with thesis, the three different disadvantages in separate paragraphs, conclusion. POINTS TO THINK ABOUT AS YOU REVISE YOUR PAPER [Tutor: Choose 3]: Paragraph Unity -You make many good points in each of your paragraphs. However, the flow of ideas within each paragraph need some work. Instead of writing an easy-flowing paragraph with a single idea, your paragraphs seem like you are simply checking off different ideas from a list and putting them together in paragraph form. Each sentence in a paragraph should relate to the one before it and the one after it; they should flow. For each of the body paragraphs, you should start with a topic statement, follow with supporting statements, and conclude. If you have many different ideas, it is best to actually list them out, using words like â€Å"first, secondly, furthermore, also, lastly. † You could also make use of transition words such as â€Å"However, in contrast, whereas, etc. † for related but contrasting ideas. Transitions -I noticed that you did not try to ease the transitions between your paragraphs. Your essay should flow freely and not jump from one idea to another. Because you deal with three different ideas for each of your essays, one thing you can do is start each paragraph by stating the disadvantage the paragraph is talking about. For example: 2nd paragraph, â€Å"Because computers can be very helpful when applied to education, an imbalance is created between those who can afford to use computers in their studies and those who cannot†; 3rd paragraph, â€Å"Next, because computers offer so much in the realm of entertainment beside school help, they could become great distractions instead of being great helps†; 4th paragraph, â€Å"Lastly, with the rise of computer use and online courses, traditional schools may disappear someday. † These are just suggestions, but each sentence introduces the new topic as a continuation of the previous discussion. Sentence Structure -The sentence structures in your paper need some work. Though you do have some grammar issues, the main problem is that your sentences are too awkward. Most of the problem lies in the word choices, such as the use of â€Å"facilities of computers† and â€Å"access of computers† instead of â€Å"computer facilities† and â€Å"computer access,† respectively. You should try to read your sentences aloud and listen to yourself; if some sentences sound halting and awkward, change them. It would be better, however, to consult a writing clinic or have someone to listen to you read your paper. Summary of next steps (E-structor: let student know what he/she should consider when revising this essay. ) The main problems with the essay are the grammar and the sentence construction. However, those are just syntax issues that you can work on as you proofread, whereas the ideas are solid. You need to work on the flow of your ideas. The paragraphs should make sense as your reader moves from one paragraph to another. Within the paragraph, you should work at letting your ideas flow better with each other. They should all make sense together, instead of being just different sentences with related ideas. One thing you can do to make your essay more personal, and to fill in the gaps between different ideas is to add personal insights and experience in the paper. From the prompt, I understand that your experiences as well as your class work and lessons are valid sources. You should draw on these ideas to make your professor know you participate in class. Also, because your introduction is rather awkward, instead of just saying â€Å"Computers, wonderful invention, are creating problems now. † You could begin by saying â€Å"Computers have changed many things in our everyday lives. Many of those changes have been advantageous. For example,†¦ † You can begin with some of the advantages of computer use that you learned in class. Then you can say â€Å"Despite all these advantages of computers, however, the increasing role that computers play in people’s lives also have disadvantages. † Remember, your good ideas will not reach the reader if he is bombarded with too many of them like a list; improve the flow of your essay. Completion Time: